STRONG LANGUAGE IN USE: PLEASE BE WARNED

Nutshell Ramble

Get some friends, get some beers and have a whole lot of laughs at one of the most ridiculous bad movies you can watch. The Room has some serious competiton.

OVERALL SCORE – (IRONIC ) 4/5 

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Full Ramble

Fateful Findings is a 2013 supernatural-ish, drama-ish, sci-fi-ish film written, directed and starring Neil Breen aka God. The film attempts to explore……………..fuck you if you think this movie makes any sense.

I don’t even wanna go into who else stars in this movie because God knows you may have not even heard about the lead guy. I would like to bring him to your attention just like YourMovieSucks bought him to my attention. This might be the best thing you will come across as a human being at any time in your life. You need to watch this movie when you are drunk or high or God knows what else. But most of all you need a bunch of friends with you when you watch it though. The sheer enjoyment that can be had with this masterpiece in horribleness cannot be put into words.

This film is a miracle. Anyone who comes back and says “Dude this movie makes no sense” needs to be fucked in the ear. This movie does not do the making sense and telling you a story and all that lame-stream shit. Its kicking too much ass and taking too many names for that stuff. You want to know what you have coming your way during those awesome hour and forty minutes. I’m going to spoil the shit out of it so be warned.

  1. Neil Breen talks to his wife without moving his lips
  2. Neil Breen gets hit by the greatest product placement after the Pontiac Aztec in Breaking Bad
  3. Out of 4 women who get topless in the film you only get to see Neil Breen’s tit.
  4. The exact porn level acting throughout. It is not sub porn nor is it better than porn. It is exactly the perfect porn level.
  5. Drunk friend is drunk all the time or else the audience will forget he is an asshole
  6. Fuck wearing bras…. why?….because fuck you that’s why
  7. Neil Breen’s psychiatrists who either are sitting in a board room interviewing him or in fucking steel chairs in  closet
  8. Neil Breen’s wife who is just a drug addict and steals pills out of the toilet
  9. The scariest face one man will ever make while fucking his wife
  10. The highest hacking done using the most turned off laptop ever
  11. Neil Breen says he can’t help a guy out of being dead
  12. Fuck your demontors or the Nazgul, Neil Breen has better dudes in black

I just don’t want to ruin any more moments for anyone else. I want anyone who reads this to go watch this man’s movies right fucking now. He needs all the support he can get and you need the laughs. You know you need it.

The only thing missing was that he did not throw one of his laptops into another laptop. That would have just been Le Magnifique. I want to watch his other two movies now and go insane and write more non sense like this. It will be the best few hours of my film watching days.

Stop being disappointed by big releases which will never match your expectations and start living in the utopia where horrible movies will keep you comfortable forever. They will never let you down.

OVERALL SCORE – (IRONIC) 4/5

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