I’M GOING TO DO A STRAIGHT FACED REVIEW OF A SO BAD IT’S GOOD MOVIE.

PREPARE YOURSELVES ADEQUATELY.

Be warned boys, girls and everyone in between, I have no clue what happened in this movie. This film is an ethereal experience. Ever watch Tree of Life? Remember how you are supposed to feel it and not think it (or some douchey bullshit like that), that is how one is supposed to watch Porki Huccha Venkat. This is high art and you better believe it.

Porki Huccha Venkat is a film? No, it’s an experience. It’s performance art at it’s finest. It is the epitome of method acting. It blows… Wait… I can’t say blows when talking about this movie, that’s not decent. It shatters – yes, shatters… that’s a good adjective – every myopic social view your possibly racist, sexist, ageist and anything-ist grandparents taught you. It did for me, I’ll tell you what.

The greatest asset the film has going for it is the great man himself, Huccha Venkat. He inebriated himself to a pulp with alcohol in preparation for this masterpiece. Everyone wants to toot Robert DeNiro’s horn for gaining all that weight for Raging Bull but who is cheering for Huccha Venkat huh? I’ll tell you who is, I am. This man drank a truckload of alcohol a day, ate a city’s worth of food the next day and kept it going for a solid 10 years in preparation for this movie. I dare you, I double-dare you brother-pucker… say you can do that for a movie role. Yeah, I didn’t think so. He is so in character all the time that, when his mother dies by taking a bullet to the collar bone, he mourns her passing by asking her to feed him. If that is not gut-wrenching, you have no soul and you will burn in hell for not having a soul.

Look, this film also works as a guide book into who you need to be to achieve real-life sound effects when you perform day to day activities. You need to be an ideal citizen of the country, any country. Huccha Venkat’s principles are applicable to all countries. Here is a small list of all those principles to be a boss, join the Huccha Venkat Sene (army) and achieve your goal of sound effects when you walk around (that was my goal for ages, now I know how to get there):

  1. Stop item songs in films by wildly missing the target when trying to kill the film crew responsible for it.
  2. Ramble on to the press about uh… any cause you think is worthy, I guess. Don’t ask questions or you are out of the Sene (Army).
  3. Stop politicians from buying applause? Um… Yeah.
  4. Always mangal sutra before vermillion. That’s a bloody rule your parents should have taught you by now.
  5. During your wedding night, you have a deep talk about your flaws with your significant other whilst drinking alcohol that looks like discount Coca-Cola. If you thought you were supposed to have sex and all that, what the hell were you thinking?

Follow these first five rules to awesome living and you just might end up with at least a swoosh when you turn your head. You would still not be worthy of thunder effects or the sound of a sword slicing a fool when you open your eyes. That requires multiple viewings and grasping every little thing the film has to offer (there is a lot).

You’ve heard stories of mythical virgins who are responsible for the world’s greatest miracles but you have been short-changed on this one story which is soon to achieve mythical status. Huccha Venkat is the only man in the history of anything to be married twice and is yet to get laid. In one of the most drawn out, yet truly meaningful, monologs off all time, both his wives die before the most well thought out proposition for a threesome reaches it’s “climax”.

There is just so much creative energy at play here. I’ll give you one last nugget of awesome before I draw this to a close. Everyone loves films and art that breaks the fourth wall right? Be it Deadpool or CM Punk. They think they are being so clever by having main characters do it but have you seen a film where every extra/person in background breaks the fourth wall? If your answer is Yes, you are a liar and if it’s a no, well welcome to your first awesome lesson in art-house filmmaking.

In conclusion, this was a great movie going experience for me for one very striking reason. The staff of the multiplex which includes ushers, ticketing staff, projectionists, concessions staff and more came down to watch this film and were truly enthralled by every little bit of it. These are men and women who have been there and watched every type of movie known to man, they took time out of their schedules to watch and learn from the master. This is all I need to say to get the meritorious qualities of the film across.

OVERALL SCORE – (ironic) 4/5 

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