Sit around the campfire, boys and girls – you are going to read a scary story about something that happened to good old TJ. Good old TJ reviews films as one of his lines of work, but he never considered it work. He loved movies and would have gladly lived out his days at a cinema hall because that is where the world made sense to him. In this world, he is exposed to true cinematic brilliance occasionally and mediocrity at most other times.

But there is one classification which is rarer than “excellent”, and The Emoji Movie falls into that category. These are the days good old TJ dreads as he sees his hope, happiness and will to watch movies wither to a dry husk. And now, you get to share in his trepidation as you read about TJ and his terrible, horrible at the movies when he willingly bought a ticket to watch the terrible, horrible Emoji Movie.

I’ll clean up TJ’s language and opinions about this soulless branding exercise for you young whipper-snappers. The first statement he had coming out of the theatre was “Intercourse (I cannot say the word, obviously) this movie. Intercourse it with one of those deliberately shaped eggplant emojis present on each of your smartphones.”

Moving on.

For a full version of this review, please visit:

The Emoji Movie Review

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